These are accounts not based on my experiences, but my uncle's.

KALDERETA

Uncle: 'Day! Anong ulam? (Inday, what's the food (for supper)?)
Maid: Kaldereta po, Kuya! (Kaldereta is a tomato- based beef stew... I think! Anybody care to correct me on this?)

Uncle approaches the table and looks at the beef stew. He is puzzled because instead of the beef being reddish from the tomato sauce, it looked pale. Like how beef in Nilaga looks like.

Uncle: 'Day, sigurado ka bang Kaldereta to? (Are you sure this is Kaldereta?)
Maid: Opo, kuya!
Uncle: Bakit siya maputla?! (Why is it so pale?)

My uncle proceeds to try the beef. It tasted weird.

Uncle: 'Day, iba yung lasa eh! Sigurado ka talaga na kaldereta ito? (It tastes weird! Are you sure this is Kaldereta?)
Maid: Opo! Sinundan ko po yung recipe eh. (Yes, I followed the recipe.)
Uncle: Patingin nga nung recipe. (May I see the recipe?)

The maid hands over the recipe book to my uncle and he scans it.

Apparently, the maid didn't know that the continuation of the recipe was on the next page.


HAMBURGERS

My uncle likes eating hamburgers and tacos for breakfast. Upon waking up one day,

Uncle: 'Day! Anong ulam? (What's the food (for breakfast)?)
Maid: Hamburgers po!
Uncle: Sige, mag- ahin ka na. Kakain ako. (Okay, please serve the food. I'm going to eat.)

A few minutes later, the maid calls him and tells him that breakfast was already on the table. He sits down and notices that there was something missing. He figured that maybe the maid wasn't done preparing the food so he read the papers for awhile as the maid finished preparing breakfast. A few more minutes later, he noticed that the maid was going about her usual chores, as if she was done preparing breakfast. Yup, something was still missing. The hamburger buns were there. So were the ketchup, mayonnaise and mustard. Apparently, the maid forgot to serve the hamburger patties!

Uncle: 'Day! May nakalimutan ka ata! (You forgot something!)
Maid: Ano po, sir? (What is it, sir?)
Uncle: Yung hamburger patties! (The hamburger patties!)
Maid: Ay, sir! Wala nang hamburger patties! Di pa nag- grocery si Ma'am! (Oh, sir! We're out of hamburger patties! Ma'am hasn't gone to the grocery yet!)

Yes, my uncle had hamburgers for breakfast... without the hamburgers.